


Just Be There

by Attenia



Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Angst, Eating Disorders, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Out of Character Legolas Greenleaf, Panic Attacks, Rape, Romance, Self-Harm, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-06-15 17:49:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,897
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19623202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Attenia/pseuds/Attenia
Summary: Aragorn and Legolas are taken by surprise and attacked in Greenwood. Aragorn manages to kill their attackers, but not before the men brutalize Legolas in the worst way possible. He doesn't know if his lover will ever recover from this, and is unsure how to help the prince. OOC Legolas. Trigger warnings for rape, panic attacks, self-harm, suicide attempt and possible eating disorder.





	Just Be There

Aragorn  
“Come here.”  
“Legolas,” Aragorn groaned. “You know I can’t resist you when you look at me like that.”  
“Then don’t resist.”  
“We have to keep watch, meleth nin. We’re still not out of dangerous territory.”  
“It’ll be fine, Estel. There haven’t been reports of attacks here in months. Whoever those men were, they’ve moved on.”  
“Maybe, but it would still be safer to –”  
His words were interrupted by Legolas’ lips pressed against his. Aragorn sighed into the kiss, knowing that his willpower was no match for the feeling of the prince’s tongue inside his mouth. He surrendered with a groan, pushing Legolas to the ground.  
Perhaps if he hadn’t been so focused on getting the ties to his lover’s pants undone, Aragorn would have heard someone approaching, but as it was, the only sound that reached him was Legolas’ urgent moans of pleasure.  
The next thing he knew, there was a blinding pain in his head. Aragorn fell to the side, clutching at his skull, struggling to remain conscious. He was vaguely aware of someone grabbing Legolas. He reached out for his lover, but the elf was pulled from his grasp.  
Aragorn blinked furiously, trying to get his vision into focus. Someone was tying his arms behind his back and securing him to a tree, but he didn’t care about that. Three men had Legolas, who was struggling fiercely, but he’d been taken by surprise and couldn’t break free.  
He stared in horror as the men started stripping Legolas’ clothes off. The elf fought so hard that one of the them started slamming his fist into Legolas’ stomach. Aragorn heard the sickening sound of ribs breaking. The prince fell to the ground, struggling for breath.  
“NO! Leave him alone! Legolas!” Aragorn tore at the ropes binding him, but only succeeded in making them dig painfully into his wrists.  
Legolas was a strong fighter who had centuries of experience in combat, but as the men pulled his pale legs apart, he started to panic, thrashing wildly and making ineffectual attempts to ward them off.  
“Estel!” Legolas cried in panic, and that panic seared through the man’s mind. He’d never heard his lover’s voice so terrified and pleading, and it scared him.  
“Don’t touch him, I’ll kill you! LEGOLAS!” The men ignored him, and desperation rose up inside Aragorn as the first one pushed into his lover. Legolas’ agonized scream felt like it might tear the man’s heart, and Aragorn redoubled his struggles, not caring that he was chafing his wrists raw.  
When blood started to run down Legolas’ legs, Aragorn lunged so forcefully that a blinding pain in his shoulder told him he’d pulled his arm out of its socket.  
He didn’t care, he just had to get to Legolas.  
“Stop it, saes! Estel, help me!”  
Tears ran down Aragorn’s face as Legolas shouted his name. He had to protect his love, no matter what it took. He struggled to think past the searing screams. If he was going to get them out of this, he had to use his head, not react in blind panic.  
The ropes were too strong to break and too tight to get his hands out of. His attempts to loosen them were useless. If only his hands were smaller.  
Aragorn’s eyes widened as the thought struck him, and he didn’t hesitate. He leaned back, smashing his hands brutally against the tree trunk. A few tries later, a crunch and a sickening pain told him he’d done it. Ignoring the screaming of his body, he shoved his broken thumb into his wrist, letting the ropes slip over his hand.  
His left hand was useless now, but Aragorn lunged for his sword with his right, the ropes still trailing from his wrist. He’d forgotten about his dislocated right shoulder, and realized he couldn’t fight like this. Gritting his teeth, he slammed his shoulder against the tree, popping it back into place.  
The world went white with pain and Aragorn struggled to maintain consciousness. Ideally, he’d have his arm in a sling for a week, but he couldn’t afford that right now. Aragorn ignored the pain in his shoulder and hefted his sword, lunging for the men.  
He decapitated one of them while he was still inside Legolas, and the others swiftly followed. Aragorn dropped his sword and ran to his lover.  
The elf cried out in terror and flinched away from him.  
“Legolas, it’s me, it’s Estel, meleth nin.”  
The prince stared at him for a moment, panting. Something changed in his eyes as he recognized the man, and Legolas fell into his lover’s arms. Aragorn didn’t know what to say. His mind was still blank with the horror of what had just happened.  
Legolas clutched his shoulders, weeping desperately into the man’s chest. Aragorn gently rocked his lover, stroking the prince’s hair, wishing there was something he could do. When the elf started struggling to get free, Aragorn released him at once, but Legolas wobbled and only managed a few steps before falling.  
“Hush, it’s me,” Aragorn murmured, catching the prince before he hit the ground. After a moment of panic, Legolas once more went limp in his arms.  
“W-want – b-b-bathe –” he gasped through his tears.  
“Of course, meleth nin, whatever you need. There is a river nearby, I will take you.”  
Legolas curled into his chest as Aragorn tenderly carried him to the river, grabbing the prince’s pack along the way. He laid his lover down and got out some soap.  
“I think I should come in with you and help you bathe. I worry you’ll pass out.”  
Legolas took a deep breath and nodded. Aragorn stripped, watching his lover carefully. Legolas flinched at the sight of the man’s naked body, but nodded when Aragorn paused.  
“I won’t hurt you,” he murmured.  
The elf nodded shakily. He knew that, of course, but Aragorn couldn’t blame him for his fear after what he’d just gone through. Aragorn handed over the soap and kept a hand under Legolas’ arm, helping hold him up. The prince winced as he reached between his legs, but scrubbed himself harshly, far more harshly that Aragorn would have liked, but he didn’t try to stop it.  
When Legolas was finally clean, Aragorn helped him out of the river and into fresh clothes. He carried his lover back. Legolas was still crying quietly into his chest, though he was slightly calmer now.  
“Talk to me,” Aragorn said desperately. “Tell me what I can do.”  
“Just… just hold me,” Legolas whispered. “Please.”  
He hated the fear and vulnerability in his lover’s voice. “Of course, meleth nin. You know I would do anything for you.”  
Aragorn pulled Legolas into his bedroll, wrapping his arms around the shaking elf. For a while, they just lay there, but Aragorn knew he had to bring it up, no matter how much he didn’t want to.  
“Legolas… I need to treat your injuries. You’ve got broken ribs that need to be bound… and internal injuries, too.”  
As he’d expected, Legolas flinched and stiffened in his arms. “I’m fine, Estel.”  
“You are not fine,” Aragorn said firmly. In the past he’d had no tolerance for Legolas’ refusal of treatment, holding his lover down if he had to, but of course, he couldn’t do that this time. “Look, Legolas, I’m not going to force you to do anything, but please, I need you to let me help you. You know I’d never hurt you. Trust me, saes.”  
Legolas nodded and took a deep breath. “I do trust you.”  
“I’ll try to be as quick as I can.”  
Aragorn got everything he needed ready and then tenderly rolled the prince onto his stomach. When he spread the elf’s legs, though, Legolas panicked. He snapped his knees together and did his best to scramble away, though he was hampered by the bedroll.  
“It’s alright, I won’t hurt you,” Aragorn soothed, moving back a few paces and sitting on his heels, giving Legolas space. The prince was panting and clutching his throat. His eyes met Aragorn’s, and they were wide with panic.  
“Can’t – breathe –” he gasped.  
“You’re having a panic attack, meleth nin. Let me come to you?”  
Legolas nodded, and Aragorn quickly went to his side, urging his lover to lie down. “We need to slow your breathing, I’m going to give you something to relax you.”  
It was a mark of how bad things were that Legolas didn’t protest this, eagerly accepting the herbs Aragorn gave him to chew. He held the prince’s shaking shoulders and did his best to soothe him while the herbs worked.  
A few minutes later, Legolas’ breathing evened out somewhat, and his tense body relaxed. “Sorry,” he whispered. “Didn’t mean…”  
“You do not have to be sorry,” Aragorn told him firmly. “None of this is your fault.”  
“It is.” Legolas squeezed his eyes shut. “It was my fault we were distracted…”  
“No, Legolas, stop right there. This is the fault of the men who hurt you. You understand? You are not responsible.”  
Legolas nodded, but there was uncertainty in his gaze. Aragorn would deal with that later, but for now, there were more pressing issues.  
“I want to give you something to make you sleep, so that I can treat your wounds without traumatizing your further.”  
Legolas closed his eyes, tears running down his cheeks. Aragorn tenderly brushed them away. “Saes, meleth nin. I only want to help you.”  
After a long pause, Legolas nodded. Aragorn sighed in relief, resisting the urge to kiss his lover. The response was automatic, but he had to learn to control it after what had happened or he’d just end up upsetting Legolas further.  
It didn’t take him long to mix a strong sleeping tea, which Legolas drank without complaint. He snuggled into Aragorn’s arms as it took hold. Aragorn was just grateful that his lover could still tolerate his touch, let alone seek it out for comfort.  
He flinched as he slowly turned Legolas over and started examining him. Seeing his love so torn up and violated was going to haunt him for years. Aragorn treated the damage as best he could before binding Legolas’ ribs and finally lying back down with him.  
Then he took a few minutes to set his broken thumb, though he didn’t bother putting his arm in a sling. He’d need both arms to care for Legolas in the coming days, no matter how much his shoulder ached.  
Aragorn wondered if it was wise to sleep in the same bedroll as Legolas like he usually did. The prince could wake up with him and panic, but when he tried to extract himself, Legolas unconsciously clutched at him, holding Aragorn in place.  
After everything he’d seen today, he was sure he’d be up all night, but Aragorn was emotionally and physically exhausted, and sleep soon took him.  
He woke to a hard blow to his face. Aragorn flinched away, quickly realizing that it was Legolas’ flailing arm that had hit him. The prince was crying in panic, obviously caught in the grips of a nightmare.  
“Legolas! Wake up, meleth nin, you are dreaming.”  
Legolas’ eyes snapped open, but it was clear he wasn’t seeing Aragorn. He cried out again and started thrashing worse than ever. Worried that the prince would hurt himself further, Aragorn grabbed Legolas’ shoulders firmly.  
“Meleth nin, it is me, it is Estel! Look at me, Legolas.”  
After a few moments, Legolas’ eyes finally focused, and he went limp in relief.  
“I’m sorry, Estel,” he wailed, throwing himself into his lover’s arms.  
“It’s alright, it’s alright,” Aragorn murmured, holding Legolas as he wept piteously.  
He knew he’d never convince his lover to go back to sleep, so Aragorn didn’t try, but simply held him.  
“Why?” Legolas cried. “Why did this have to happen?”  
“I don’t know, meleth nin. I wish I did.”  
They stayed like that until the sun rose. Legolas’ tears slowed and he lay quietly, staring off into space. Aragorn didn’t know what to do for him, and eventually extracted himself from their bedroll. “I’ll make us some breakfast.”  
He set about making a fire, glancing at Legolas every couple of seconds. The prince still hadn’t moved, and Aragorn wasn’t sure if that was a good or a bad thing. He walked over to his pack and started getting out dried travel rations, thinking of making them a stew.  
When he looked around, Legolas was sitting right in front of the fire. Aragorn had turned back to his pack and did a double take when what he saw made its way to his brain.  
Legolas had his hand right above the flames – way, way too close to them just to warm himself.  
“Legolas!” Aragorn ran over and snatched his lover’s hand, pulling it away. The prince’s fingers and palm were already bright red and he could see blisters rising.  
“Why did you do that?” Aragorn moaned, grabbing his water skin and pouring water over the wound.  
Legolas smiled faintly at him. “Helps. I thought it would.”  
“Why would you think putting your hand in the fire would be at all helpful, meleth nin?”  
The prince just shrugged. Aragorn forgot about breakfast for now and set about treating Legolas’ hand. His lover was still smiling vaguely, and it concerned the man to no end. When he’d spread a healing salve over the wound and bandaged it, Aragorn gently moved Legolas away from the fire.  
“Meleth nin? I need you to tell me why you did that.”  
Legolas stared vaguely at him. It was clear that the prince wasn’t fully present, probably high off the pain, which was not encouraging. “It helped burn away some of the memories.”  
“They’ll come back,” Aragorn said firmly. “That is not the way to deal with them, meleth nin. Promise me you won’t hurt yourself again.”  
Legolas didn’t respond.  
“Saes, Legolas, you have to let me help you.”  
“How, Estel?” The prince turned tear-filled eyes up to meet his. “How can you help me?”  
“I don’t know yet, but I will see you through this, I promise. Just trust me. Saes.”  
Slowly, Legolas nodded.  
“Thank you,” Aragorn breathed. He kept a close eye on Legolas as he made breakfast, and approached his lover with a bowl of stew. As he’d expected, Legolas refused. The prince had always hated eating when he was injured.  
“Just a bit, meleth nin,” Aragorn coaxed. “You have to keep your strength up.”  
“Don’t want it.”  
Of course he didn’t. Unlike before, Aragorn couldn’t force Legolas to eat.  
“I’ll just keep it warm for you, then.” He ate his own stew without enthusiasm, trying to think what to do next. It would be near impossible for Legolas to ride in his current state, and Aragorn didn’t want his lover walking either, not with his injuries.  
In the end, he decided to leave it up to the prince. “Legolas, would you prefer to return to the palace, or stay here until you’re a bit more healed? Or we could head for Imladris?”  
“Stay here,” Legolas said at once. “At least until I’m healed. You can’t tell anyone, Estel. Promise me.”  
Aragorn sighed. “If you insist, I promise, but keeping this secret isn’t going to help you, meleth nin.”  
“Promise me.”  
“I said I promise. I won’t tell anyone without your leave, I swear.”  
Legolas’ tense shoulders relaxed a little, and he gave the man a brave smile. Aragorn spent the morning making their current location a proper camp and securing it, ensuring that they wouldn’t be found again.  
Legolas tried to help, but he was still too injured, flinching every time he moved. Eventually, Aragorn sat him down with some broken arrow shafts that needed mending, knowing his lover hated having nothing to do. When it came time for lunch, the prince once more refused food, no matter how Aragorn pleaded with him.  
It went on like that for days. Legolas appeared outwardly calm, but Aragorn knew that his lover was hurting inside, and more than just physically. The prince refused to eat or speak about what had happened, and Aragorn was reluctant to push him.  
The third day in, Legolas’ control broke. He was walking to the river to wash when the prince started wobbling. Aragorn was watching him, as usual, and hurried to catch his lover. At the surprise touch, Legolas flinched and cried out.  
“It’s me, it’s me,” Aragorn said quickly, lowering him to the ground and stepping back. Legolas flopped onto his side, panting.  
“Sorry,” he mumbled.  
“What happened?”  
“Dizzy.”  
“That’s because you’re not eating. I’m not letting you get into the water if you might pass out and drown. Come on, you’re having something to eat, and you’re having it now.”  
“No, I don’t want –” Legolas protested weakly, but Aragorn wasn’t having it. He set his lover down on a folded bedroll and handed him a piece of lembas, levelling the prince with a stern gaze.  
“You have to eat, meleth nin. Please.”  
“I can’t.”  
“Why not?” Aragorn pressed. “You’re starting to seriously affect your own health, Legolas.”  
His lover couldn’t seem to look at him. As Aragorn watched, tears slowly started trickling down the elf’s face.  
“Meleth nin?” He moved close, putting a careful arm around Legolas. “Talk to me.”  
“Don’t want to.”  
“Don’t want to what? Eat, talk?”  
“Go on,” Legolas whispered. “Please, Estel, I can’t do this anymore. I don’t want to.”  
“What do you mean?” Aragorn suspected he knew what his lover meant, but he didn’t want to believe it.  
“Let me die.” Legolas looked up at him with pleading eyes. “I thought I could do it with food, but I can’t wait that long, it’ll take months. The river…”  
“What about the river, meleth nin?”  
Slowly, Legolas reached into his pocket and pulled out a rock. He held it out to Aragorn on an open palm, his eyes on the ground. Aragorn took it and tossed it away, fighting the urge to yell. He took about a dozen rocks out of Legolas’ pockets before they were empty.  
The prince was shaking with sobs, and Aragorn pulled him into a hug. “It’s ok, meleth nin. I’ve got you. I’m not going to let anyone hurt you, not even yourself.”  
“I want to go,” Legolas cried, clutching Aragorn’s shoulders. “Just let me go, Estel.”  
“I cannot, meleth nin. I will not let this destroy you.”  
“Saes.”  
Listening to Legolas beg for death as he wept desperately in Aragorn’s arms would haunt the man for the rest of his life. He knew the storm had to pass eventually, but by the Valar, he didn’t know when or how.  
He rocked his lover, murmuring words of comfort, stroking Legolas’ hair and doing anything he could just to be here for him in his lowest moment.  
Legolas eventually cried himself to sleep, but Aragorn didn’t move. He was afraid to leave the prince alone, worried what he’d do if he woke up without Aragorn there. He felt way out of his depth here and didn’t know what to do.  
Aragorn wanted Elrond. Ada always knew what to do, but even if the elf lord was here, he had given his word he would let Legolas decide whether or not to tell anyone else.  
“Help me,” Aragorn murmured, unsure who he was talking to. Praying, maybe. He just didn’t know anymore.  
Perhaps he had been praying, because the Valar sent him a dream. A memory, actually. Aragorn was young, maybe six years old, and he’d broken his arm climbing a tree. Elrond had set it, but Aragorn was still utterly miserable.  
He remembered Elladan speaking softly to Elrond, thinking Aragorn was asleep. “What can we do for him, Ada?”  
“Just be there,” Elrond replied. “In time, he will heal. Just be there for him. Support and a bit of time, that’s all he needs.”  
It was with those words that Aragorn woke, his arms still wrapped around Legolas. What had happened to his lover was far worse than a broken arm, but perhaps the same principles applied. Maybe all he needed to do was love Legolas and be there for him, and let time do the rest.  
When Legolas woke, Aragorn waited for his lover’s eyes to focus on him, making sure he was recognized. Then he carefully pressed a kiss to the prince’s brow. “Good morning.”  
Legolas didn’t respond, but Aragorn didn’t let that bother him. His lover would be a long time in recovering, but he wouldn’t give up. He would see Legolas smile again, hear his beautiful laugh… all with time.  
“Let’s get you some breakfast,” he said gently, helping his lover sit up.

One year later  
“Legolas! Ion nin, where have you been? I’ve had patrols looking all over for you!”  
“Sorry, Ada, we got delayed.”  
“Delayed? You –”  
“It’s my fault, hir nin,” Estel said quickly. “It’s a long story, but the gist of it is I got myself captured and Legolas had to spend the better part of a year tracking me down.”  
Legolas hadn’t asked Estel to lie for him, but he was grateful. They’d had to move several times to avoid his father’s patrols, though they’d always stayed in Greenwood.  
There had been times when Legolas was sure he’d never be able to move past what had happened to him, but Estel had never lost faith, constantly staying by his side and wiping his tears. Thranduil insisted on interrogating them for over an hour before finally hugging Legolas and letting him and Estel leave for their chambers.  
“You doing ok?” Estel asked quietly.  
“I’m fine.” Legolas smiled at his lover, his mind already fast-forwarding to the bedroom. He’d tried to initiate intimacy with Estel a number of times, and many of them had ended in disaster, but Estel had been patient and never pushed. Just two months ago, Legolas had managed to overcome his fears and make love to the man.  
He still couldn’t tolerate being taken, but Estel insisted he didn’t mind bottoming, and even if Legolas could never stand the feeling of another inside him, that wouldn’t matter.  
One thought prevented him from stripping Estel’s clothes off the moment the door closed, something he’d been wondering for a while.  
“How did you do it, Estel?”  
“Do what?”  
“Fix me.”  
Estel pulled him in for a gentle kiss. “I didn’t, meleth nin. You healed yourself, with time, love and support, just like I knew you would.”  
“I think you had more to do with it than you’re letting on. How did you always know what to do?”  
“There really was only one thing I had to do. Just be there. The rest, time, patience and love healed.”  
Legolas shook his head slowly. “You are a wonder, Estel. I love you.”  
“I love you, meleth nin. Now and forever.”  
Estel never initiated intimate contact, always letting Legolas take the lead, something the prince found comforting.  
“Lie back,” Legolas ordered, a smile playing around his mouth. Estel’s cock was already creating a bulge in his pants, and Legolas was eager to taste his lover. As he took Estel into his mouth, the memories of what happened a year ago were but distant storm clouds.  
Perhaps the storm would break again, but if it did, Legolas knew that Estel would be there, and he always would. Together, they would be ok.


End file.
